Week 13 | My ideal man | Tantra | Goddess party

I can say proudly that this week I truly balanced work hard, play hard and rest hard. Since starting my own business in 2010 I never really enjoyed a holiday without  a single day not thinking about work. This week I had my holiday and didn’t need to do anything. I still worked a little bit on creating the outline for the workshop ‘Radical honesty in dating’ and ‘Radical self love’. The rest of my time I spend on my own development, by following a workshops about manifestation and tantra, having fun and relaxing. That was exactly what I needed! 

Friday – Ordering my ideal man with the universe

The coming week I took off to take a breather from a hectic period and an overflowing calendar of spending one month in the Netherland in between ‘workations’. I always need time to psychically and mentally arrive in a new place. With having the house all to myself my day started amazing. I enjoyed relaxing and meditating in the garden and just hanging around the house.

During my ‘workation’ to Bali, Australia and New Zealand I first felt I would want kids. In a conversation I had later that day with the people I was staying the topic children came up. My host would like children in 10 years and had a conversation about being a surrogate mother. He asked me if I would do it and for who and if I would adopt and what age. He also asked if I would like to have children with any of the men who I dated or had a relationship with. I told him that I would choose for a surrogate mother it if it wasn’t so complicated. And if I would, I’d ask a friend I really trust because I believe that the baby is being raised from the moment it’s in the womb. The things mothers and father think, experience and eat influence the rest of the child’s life.

I wouldn’t adopt because I don’t want children that badly. If possible I would like children with my DNA or if for any reason this is not possible I would give more love to the people around me. And these don’t have to be my children. I’m proud that I give my love to myself and look for in people who I connect with to live from stability and overflow with self-love: ‘Love & kindness’.

My next partner is not going to be a fixer-upper like men from my past, but it will be an equal partner with whom I can enter in a spiritual partnership. A good friend advised me to make a wish list and order this with the universe. So this is the description of the men I’m going to attract this year:

*Physically wildly attractive: muscular body, beautiful face and eyes that sparkle

*Emotionally and spiritually developed

*Open to trying and exploring new things to develop personal, emotional and spiritual growth or just because it’s fun

*Has an active and stable head-heart connection and is able to live with an open heart

*Amazing in the bedroom

*Evenly balanced male and female energy

*Is able to have meaningful conversations with me

*We can be the wind under each others wings and know how to challenge, inspire, activate and support each other to achieve greatness

*We want to build a future together in which we commit to each other.

How is your love life doing? What is on your wish list in a partner? If you’re in a relationship, how can you get more out of it and enjoy more of each other?

Saturday – Working on manifestation and teaching another

Of course I spend half of the day in bed. That’s the great thing about a holiday: I allow myself to do that. In the afternoon my host surprised me with taking me to a workshop about manifestation. Which was special, because I’m an expert on this topic and even train coaches to work with  manifestation.

It was interesting to experience what people in my workshops also experience. One of the really important things is knowing what you dream of and what motivates you. We were asked to write and share our dream with the group. Naturally I first drew my dream! I was anxious to share my dream and was thinking if I wanted to share to raw version or the one that I know everybody can relate. I choose to share in a way which was true to my heart.

The entire afternoon was filled with great moments and a amazing connection with the trainer, who turned out to be one of the best friends of my host. What was so amazing? The whole atmosphere was relaxed and we spoke about deep and venerable topics and I also got a chance to share my business wisdom with the trainer. I realized how much I’ve learned and grown. We also had a lovely dinner and relaxed on her couch after the workshop. All three of us were in our element!

Sunday – This is about nothing

I didn’t really to that much today. In the evening we went out for dinner in a restaurant with an amazing location (on the edge of a rock) and delicious food. The people we met there were very friendly but I noticed that I couldn’t connect with them on a deeper level. I think this is because I practiced with communicating with an open heart and radical honesty in the last year. When there’s conversations about ‘head’ stuff like cars and money without talking about underlying feelings I disconnect. Astonished I watched this play happen in front of me. Tonight nobody really seemed interested in me or my life, except where I come from in the Netherlands. I never shared so little about me in a conversation ever. I didn’t even try to deepen the conversation, because it was just so shallow.

It was painful to be honest. Painful to be part of a situation in which nobody saw or got how painful it really was. A situation with the four of us without connecting or touching each other in a positive way.

Monday – An easy day

Today I spend the day alone. I wanted to walk to the beach but that turned out to be further away than I thought. Like 2,5 hours further that I thought. After a hour of walking I realized how far away the beach still was and I decided to walk back home.

On my way back I stopped at my favorite Starbucks. There was a group of people holding up a sign with ‘I love you’. As everything about love triggers me, I walked up to them and started a conversation. They asked for water and alcohol. I tend to not buy alcohol for people because I feel it’s unhealthy and don’t want to contribute the least as possible to an unhealthy lifestyle. Luckily they were alright with water and some food. And that was my adventure this day. I finished the day with cooking a healthy meal and chatting.

It was to talk about the projects were passionated about and what is standing in the way for them to fully blossom. It provided me with a different perspective and material to think about what I’m doing. I’m already looking forward to carefully look at everything I’m doing and drastically cutting out all the unnecessary parts. Why am I looking forward to this? Because I’m here with the reason to blossom myself without neglecting the care for myself and working all hours of the day.

Tuesday – Silencing, slowing down, deepening and enjoying

Despite the fact I was on my holiday and allowed myself to not work I spend the entire morning working today. And after spending so much time inside it was time to go to the beach with one of the flatmates. We walked in silence on the beach. It was amazing to feel the sand under my feet again and connect with nature. It was totally bliss and I came back relaxed!

In the evening we brainstormed about the name of one of the two workshop I was facilitating here. We turned out to have different ideas about the workshop. He wanted the workshop to be a discussion about open relationships and I wanted to provide inspiration and activation to be radically honest in dating and relationships. To get input from a thirth part I asked what my Facebook would prefer. It turned out that most of them liked the radical honesty in relatiosnhips. If you live in the Netherlands and are interested in this subject we’re organizing a workshop in september. Do you want to know more about this send me a message on Facebook or shanti@light-works.nu.

Wednesday – Goddess parrrrrrrty

6 months ago I found a text that describes self love exactly for me! The summary is this:

Self love is a radical act. It is shedding all the layers to reach the core of who you are in this moment. It’s awakening to the truth of your purity and your essence which is love. It’s also setting limits and boundaries around what you will not put up with for the sake of sticking to your truth. It’s walking away from what is no longer serving you. It’s no longer “shoulding” or pressuring yourself to put up with bullshit anymore.

– Jilliana Antoniewicz

The writer reacted a couple of months ago to my message in which I shared the summary of my self love book and the question to interview her when I was going to be in LA. It turned out that in the time that I was there she was moving to LA. A coincidence? I think not! I met her this afternoon and we brainstormed about the workshop we were facilitating that week wit another ‘self love alchemist’. I enjoyed working with her so much. There is no difference in what she thinks, feels and says. I don’t know anybody who is that transparant. You’ll exactly know what you get with her: No fuss and no guessing what she would means. What you see is what you get. Cristal clear without being passively aggressive. I love it! If you would like to know more about my book and documentary ‘Expedition Self Love’ coming out next year, don’t be shy to send me a message.

A couple of day earlier she invited me to a event called “The Goddess Empowered”. I’m always up for a goddess party and went there together with one the flatmates. The event wasn’t that interesting with a high rate of ‘plastic fantastic’. I did have really good sushi, conversations and met some ‘real’ people behind the masks. The event was so formal that when I started dancing with two other people somebody asked the organization if it was allowed to dance on the dance floor. Hahaha, why else would you have a dance floor AND a dj?!

Thursday – My beautiful tantric experience! 

Today I went to my first tantric lesson in the USA. It was really special and probably the best lesson I ever had. It stirred up a lot with me. I understand now even better why tantra is an important part of my development. If you’re curious about what I experiences of what tantra means (to me) watch the video below. I experienced a major breakthrough! If you’re interested in attending a workshop go here for more information for the workshop I’m organizing with my favorite teacher and sign up. For any questions you can contact me. One thing I know is that it’s going to be a magical day and a true experience.