Speak your truth, no matter what

Never have I interacted with this many people on a regular basis as I have over the past few years. This brought me some of the best and the worst moments of my life.

Today I met up with one of those friends. We were discussing when and how to share with someone that something weighs heavy on our hearts.

This made me think of my relationships that crashed and burned, the friendships that seemed to come to an end and the business partnerships that were no longer working.

Most of those interactions went south, not because of what was happening but because of the lack of clear communication. It started and ended with lack of communication of the person that had a problem, who would bottle everything up instead of addressing it in a clear way and on time (not when decions where already made and opinions where set in stone).

Last year I had experienced over a dozen of those situations. Only in one or two of those interactions, I was to blame for the communication meltdown.

Too busy to beat around the bush

You have to understand that the past year has been crazy hectic for me. I had so much going on that I couldn’t baby all the people that I had a relationship with – either personal or business.

From expanding my business to writing a cook book, from guest lecturing at a university to dating someone new, I’ve been busy

Besides doing all that I was still working on putting myself back together (healing from the destructive relationship I was in before). I did all of this while traveling to about a dozen countries in different parts of the world.

Something is going on

So, as you can see, there was a lot going on. Normally when I’m around people, whatever the relationship is, I act like a super empath.

This time I’m letting people take their own responsibility for expressing what they think, feel or want to me.

It turned out most of the people that I was interacting with weren’t equipped for this ‘job’. I’ve never had so many messy ‘break ups’ in my life. One of my working relationships even ended in mediation.

Stop, in the name of love

I believe that there is no need to be harsh, rude or even mean to one another; that it is not at all necessary to abruptly end any relationship, or talk in a condescending or passive aggressive way. There is certainly no excuse for ‘exploding’.

The communication accidents that I was involved in were pretty ugly. Normally I see them coming from miles away and I intercept so that the ‘accident’ doesn’t have to happen. Or if we do happen to collide, the consequences are minor.

I had too much going on at the time and for once I wanted people to take their own responsibility for what they feel and create.

The people I work with and me practice radical honesty (most of the time) and mark our boundaries very clearly. This all cost me and some of my team members a lot of time (and therefore money), but it had to be done.

I support this message

So what do I need to change? I am urging myself to communicate better, sooner and more clearly, and to not assume that the other person can read your mind.

I will take the time to talk to other people before making a decision by myself. Because if I just confront the other person with my decision instead of involving them in the process, I am asking for trouble.

And by doing so, I hope to inspire others to treat me the same way.

How to speak your truth

I’ve assisted two radical honesty workshops and those workshops have changed my life as I know it. It was the best thing I’ve ever done. It has put everything into perspective for me.

I now know (not just with my head but also with my heart) that nobody can make me feel a certain way. I make myself feel the way I do.

Furthermore I have learned and experienced a method that I can use to express myself in a way that doesn’t threaten others. It allows me to be clear on what I feel and what I would like from now on.

By practicing this in a workshop setting and continuing to appy it in my personal and business life, I communicate more effectively (when I put it to practice). I also have more intimacy with people and the best sex in my whole life.

Wanna join?

If this is something that resonates with you, I invite you to join our next radical honesty weekend retreat in Amsterdam. It is so worth it and if you book in time, you will even get an early bird discount. My teacher who taught me the ropes is teaching it! I’m so excited and I would love it if you joined as well.

International Speaker | Manifestation Coach | Published Author

Shanti Silos is a Manifestation Expert who guides individuals and teams to a higher level of fulfilment, business success and community development. Shanti inspires you to connect with your inner power and discover your full potential: become who you want to be, do what you where meant to do, be your own hero.

If you want to inspire others to live a life of purpose and service, you’re at the right place. Contact Shanti to find out how you can gain maximum impact through low effort, while having fun.